How many times have you seen that inspirational picture saying “don’t look back”. I never believed in regrets, as all my “mistakes” led me to where I am today. I have an amazing husband and two pretty special kids and a life full of amazingness.

But sometimes when we are struggling within our heart, we do need to look backward. We need to feel those emotions, those situations, those events and gain an understanding of what happened, or at least how we perceive what happened.

Looking backwards to move forwards. Looking at the past to learn from, and moving forward in a new direction.


As I have shared, this is my year of rediscovery [I am sure it will last much more than a year]. I have started to put my heart where my mouth is, meaning I am diving in head first on some introspective work. I am grateful to have a few friends and practitioners that are helping me on my journey.

Last week I visited my super talented massage therapist/reiki friend for a treatment. This woman has magical hands [if you are in the Utica, NY area, message me for her info].  She can find knots so deep inside my shoulders and work to release them- and I only cried Uncle two times! She is also very gifted in finding energy blocks within the body and how they are impacting me physically [you know that whole mind/body connection thing]. This week I decided I was ready to go deep, and she worked to open me up energetically. And it’s funny, even when you think you are ready to expose things, they can still catch you off guard.

I have spent the past week processing every emotion that I have stuffed away for the past 30+ years. It is funny how when you are older and you look back at situations you perceive them differently. Things that I laughed off and thought did not bother me, in the end, made a huge impact on the person I am now.

But the most beautiful thing about this experience is that in the end, I am still in control of me. I am gaining insight into how I got to where I am currently, but I am the creator of my life. I am the one in the driver’s seat for my future. I can choose to succumb to my past, or chose to rise above and make different choices for me and my family. And I am guessing you know which I am choosing.

I will keep you posted on how my processing of this continues as time goes on.

With gratitude,